Where are you?
by Sterne
Summary: A P/C fic. Something tears Cole and Phoebe apart and something horrible happens to Phoebe. I finished!!! Thanks for the wonderful RR. Enjoy the end of the story, but not of ME.:)
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1  
  
Where are you?  
  
*In the underworld*  
  
"I demand an explanation. Why is it so hard for all of you to get Belthazor? A weak demon, hiding behind his human half. Do I have to do everything myself?"  
  
Obviously the Source wasn't happy. For months now they were trying to get Belthazor back, but every demon and warlock has failed.  
  
"Time to take matters into my own hands" he thought and with this he left. He needed a plan. No, he needed the witch. He needed Phoebe Halliwell.  
  
*Back at the manor*  
  
"Come on Phoebe, you know how I love being with you, but I have plans with Leo" and next thing she knew, Cole had shimmered out of her bedroom.  
  
"I hate when you do this" Phoebe yelled after him, imagining him smile.  
  
True, she was happy that Leo and Cole got along so well. They had started to realize that a half demon and a whiteligher actually did have things in common: football games, baseball games, hockey games and they started playing golf together. They were best buddy's, something that Phoebe as well as Piper never expected.  
  
That wasn't the problem at all. Realizing that Cole couldn't be that bad if even a whitelighter liked him, Piper finally accepted Cole into the family. Still, the better Cole got along with Leo, Piper and Paige, the more Phoebe and Cole grew apart.  
  
If he wasn't with Leo, Cole was either shimmering around or he was at work. With all the money he had saved over the years, Cole didn't really need to work, but he liked it. He became on of the top lawyers in San Francisco and he was proud of it.  
  
So Phoebe felt out of place. In the end Phoebe and Cole hardly spent time together and if they did, they ended up arguing about everything.  
  
"Come on Leo, what's the trick? You and Piper never argue, or at least not as much as Phoebe and I. What is the difference between you guys and us?" Cole was worried about his relationship with Phoebe.  
  
"Well, for starters, I'm no demon."  
  
"Ha ha , very funny. Come on Leo, really."  
  
"Sorry, well, you know Phoebe. She has her ups and downs. She is finally done with College, but still doesn't have a job and she can't decide what to do with her life."  
  
"I don't think that's the reason" is all Cole could say.  
  
And the Source smiled back down there... 


	2. Chapter2

Chapter 2  
  
*Two months later*  
  
"Is she still in her room?" Paige asked Piper worriedly. Ever since Phoebe and Cole broke up 6 weeks ago, Phoebe took it hard, harder then expected. She didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't do much of anything. Surprisingly, or thankfully, no demons or warlocks were around the Power of Three wasn't needed.  
  
"Actually, Paige, Phoebe went out."  
  
"She did what?" Paige starred Piper doubtfully.  
  
"She did. She said it was time to move on. She went to the park."  
  
Phoebe was finally going to meet Jeff. At least, that's what he said his name was... She had met him on the Internet. They have been chatting daily, ever since Cole had left, and they were finally going to meet today. Tears came into Phoebe's eyes. Cole... "Get it together" Phoebe thought to herself " he is not coming back and you don't need him to. You have Jeff now. He is a doctor; he is normal, no demon, and just plain old human. Oh god, is that him? Holding the rose?  
  
Not far behind Phoebe was Cole, watching her every move. He had watched her every day since their break up. He heard her cry, he felt her pain, and he knew she missed him too. But today was different. Phoebe wore a new summer dress, her hair was combed differently. She looked beautiful as always, just different. And Cole didn't like it. He knew what it was for. Why she changed. He could feel his heart beat faster, his mind started racing and then he saw him. Phoebe almost ran towards him. A tall, blonde, trained guy, holding a single red rose. The guy then put his arm around Phoebe and pulled her into a hug. Cole couldn't watch anymore and shimmered away.  
  
Phoebe and Jeff had a wonderful time together; still Phoebe couldn't help herself but think about Cole. "This has to stop," she kept telling herself...  
  
When Phoebe got home she put on her PJ's, got the BOS and went downstairs. Paige, Piper and Leo were all out, so she had the house to herself.  
  
She settled on a couch next to an open window and went through the book.  
  
"Perfect, that's it." Slowly, Phoebe picked up a picture of her and Cole, tore it into pieces and started channing "Since he left, I walk alone. Alone I will not stay. Let my heart be free for a man that truly loves me, keep Cole away from hurting me."  
  
Meanwhile, outside, Cole was watching Phoebe and heard every word she said. After hearing the spell he felt as if somebody stuck a knife through his heart. It hurt worse then their break up. This was the end of him and Phoebe, there was nothing to hold onto anymore, and nothing left to say. Cole took one last look at his beautiful Phoebe, as she wiped her tears away, and then shimmered away. 


	3. Chapter3

Chapter 3  
  
*Two weeks later*  
  
"Let her go you mean Idiot, or I'll hurt you" Paige screamed, but nothing helped. Piper was still unconscious on the floor and Phoebe was tied up, looking cared at Jeff.  
  
"Oh, poor charmed ones... If you'll excuse me, I need to go and take my prize to the Source. See ya in hell" and with that Jeff took Phoebe and shimmered out.  
  
"Leo, where have you been?"  
  
"Oh my God, Paige, what happened?" Leo asked seeing Piper on the floor. He quickly went over to heal her, and Paige explained that Phoebe's so called boyfriend was really a demon, working for the Source. Funny, how things repeat themselves...  
  
"Phoebe, were is Phoebe?" Piper was confused. She couldn't really remember anything.  
  
"It's okay, Piper. She is alive, but Jeff took her to the Source."  
  
Oh god Paige, what do we do now? Phoebe is not strong enough. She hasn't been herself lately. She's not going to fight, I can feel it, she lost her will... " Piper couldn't stop crying, remembering how Phoebe had said that it was so hard to live without Cole.  
  
Paige put her arms around Piper. "Don't worry, she'll be okay. Leo and I just orb down there and see what's happening. I'll promise you that we'll bring her back."  
  
"No, I need to come. I wanna help." But Piper knew she couldn't. Paige and Leo had better chances to get out of there if they didn't need to worry about Piper.  
  
"Can you sense Phoebe, Leo?"  
  
"No, I don't feel a thing down here. I'm sure that the Source is blocking Phoebe so that we can't find her."  
  
Paige was nervous. She didn't like it down there at all and just wanted to get Phoebe and go back as soon as possible.  
  
"Oh, look at that. The whitelighter and a charmed one, here to get her sister... That's cute."  
  
Leo and Paige turned around and were now facing the Source. Leo was giving Paige the sign to orb out, but the Source held up his hands, like he was going to give in.  
  
"Wait, you are here to get the witch, you can have her. I'm done with her." Suddenly Phoebe's body appeared next to him.  
  
"Take her, I had my fun with her. She ruined one of my best demons and I finally ruined her."  
  
Leo and Paige took Phoebe and orbed back to the manor. 


	4. Chapter4

Chapter 4  
  
"Heal her, damn it, heal her" Piper screamed at Leo.  
  
"You know I can't. I can't heal the dead, I'm so sorry." Leo answered and watched helplessly as Paige and Piper were crying, holding onto Phoebe's body.  
  
"Piper, they are calling me, I'll be right back" and Leo orbed out to go see the Elders. When he got back he looked even more upset.  
  
"I'm sorry, but they want Phoebe's body. I don't know why, but my guess is they wanna see if they can somehow manage to get her power."  
  
"No way" Paige yelled, but Piper got up slowly and looked at Leo.  
  
"Leo, Paige, I think we should go upstairs and somon Cole. He should know." Leo looked at his wife. He understood that she gave into the Elders, but not without letting Cole say goodbye to Phoebe.  
  
Paige, Piper and Leo went upstairs and the sister's somoned Cole. Once they finished their spell, Cole appeared. He looked pretty bad, he hadn't shaved in days and his eyes looked tired and restless.  
  
"What is it? What's wrong?" He asked surprised and worried. When nobody answered Cole got really nervous.  
  
"What's wrong? Is it Phoebe?" By the look on Leo's eyes he could tell that it indeed had to do with Phoebe.  
  
"Where is she? Is she okay?" He asked again. Leo couldn't take it any longer and stepped towards Cole.  
  
"I'm sorry. You see, the Source took her, because Jeff was working for him. We all told Phoebe not to trust the guy, but she wouldn't listen..."  
  
"Stop it Leo," Cole interrupted "we need to go and get her." Cole was really scared by now and Piper and Paige started to cry again. Slowly Piper went to Cole and hugged him and wouldn't let go.  
  
"God, she loved you so much. She always loved you and never stopped. Don't you doubt that for a second. She believed you were her soul mate and she was right." And slowly Cole understood.  
  
"Where is she?" Piper took his hand and let him downstairs into the living room. And their Cole saw his Phoebe. She looked like she was sleeping; yet her face seemed hurt and scared. Cole kneeled down next to her and rested his head on her chest and cried. He cried for all the wrong in his life, for his demon half, for his human half, for all the evil he had done, but most of all he cried for Phoebe, for loosing the love of his life. Never had a demon cried as much as Cole cried now. He was a broken man and would never be the same he used to be. 


	5. Chapter5

1 Chapter 5  
  
Slowly Leo and Paige came downstairs.  
  
"Cole, I'm so sorry, but I gotta take Phoebe. The Elders want her body." Cole just go up and let Leo take his Love away from him, while Piper took Cole's hand. After Leo orbed out with the body, Paige broke down crying, but Piper tried to keep it together.  
  
"Cole, please stay with us. Phoebe would have wanted it and I want it. Looking at you reminds me of her. Part of her is in you and I won't let you go and take that away from me as well. Please Cole." Cole just nodded and Piper took Paige to her room.  
  
"Cole, you can stay in Phoebe's room. It's your room too, you know. It always has been..." and Piper closed the door behind her and Paige and Cole went to Phoebe's room.  
  
Just by walking inside, it hit him. Her smell, her stuff, everything. This room was Phoebe, that's why Piper wanted him here. Slowly Cole picked up one of Phoebe's sweaters and lied down on the bed. He inhaled her smell and looked around. Her room looked exactly like the last time he was in here, before him and Phoebe broke up. The only thing missing were the pictures of him and her together.  
  
Cole got under the covers and felt something underneath the pillow. It was a picture frame with a picture of him in it. Cole smiled. She had never stopped loving him, of course not. He spell didn't work because he was her true love. Cole closed his eyes and went to sleep.  
  
"Please Cole, help me. I need you." Cole woke up shivering. It was awfully cold, even under the covers.  
  
He had dreamed of Phoebe. It seemed so real. It was almost like she had come in his dreams, to ask him for help. Cole shook his head and got up. There was no way he could go back to sleep now. His Phoebe was gone and he had to learn to live with that.  
  
Cole went upstairs to the attic, the place Phoebe used to go to, when she couldn't sleep. Everything here had always looked the same. Over in the corner was the big couch, Phoebe's couch, where she used to sit and read in the BOS. And yes, there by the window was the book.  
  
Cole remembered how Phoebe had always tried to talk him into touching the book, but he refused every time. He still knew what happened the first time he got to close to the book and he didn't need that again.  
  
"But you are good now." He heard Phoebe say. Slowly Cole walked over to the book and placed his fingers on the cover - and nothing happened.  
  
Cole started to call for Phoebe, but then realized that she won't be coming running through that door, sharing his excitement with him. Instead Leo walked in.  
  
"Cole, what's wrong?" Leo asked and then saw Cole holding the BOS. Leo walked over and friendly put his hand on Cole's shoulder.  
  
"Phoebe always believed in you, to the very end she was sure that you were good. I'm glad you finally figured it out, too. We all knew."  
  
Cole, who had started crying, was amazed. Sure, he knew he had gotten closer to Phoebe's Family, but he had no idea that he had gotten that close to them.  
  
"You know, Cole, you are part of this family too and the book knows that." Leo said as if he could read Cole's mind. Then Leo left Cole alone, who sat down on the couch, his couch now, looking through the book. Phoebe had been right, this book was fascinating. "Phoebe, God, Phoebe, I miss you so much." 


	6. Chapter6

Chapter 6  
  
Days turned into weeks and Cole still stayed at the Halliwell Manor. The Elders had arranged that the Power of Two would be enough to protect the innocent and fight against evil and with the help of Cole and Leo everything went okay.  
  
As Cole and Leo came home from grocery shopping one day, they found Piper crying in the living room. Leo went straight to her.  
  
"Piper, honey, what's wrong?" Piper could barely answer, but Leo could make out the words "Phoebe" and "Birthday". He looked and Cole and by the shadow on his face Leo saw that Cole understood it to. Today would have been Phoebe's birthday. He had forgotten all about it, they all had, except for Piper.  
  
"It's gonna be alright Piper, I promise." Leo hugged her and then went over to Cole.  
  
"I have something for you. It was Phoebe's and I'm sure she would have wanted you to have it." Leo walked upstairs and minutes later came back with a book in his hand. He handed it to Cole, who realized that it was Phoebe's diary.  
  
Cole just nodded and shimmered out and Leo went back to comfort Piper.  
  
Once Cole arrived at the mausoleum, he started reading the diary.  
  
"I wonder where Cole is. I miss him so much. I hope he is okay. I had dinner with Jeff last night. Sometimes I have a weird feeling when I'm with him. He looks at me like he knows something that he shouldn't know. I wonder what it is? Does he know that I am a witch?"  
  
"Piper told me that she heard from Cole today. Thank God that he is okay."  
  
"I remember the first time that I met Cole. From the beginning I found that he was too sexy to be an ADA. Funny, he is to sexy to be a demon, too."  
  
Cole had to smile. That sounded just like Phoebe. Cole kept reading, smiling, remembering until he came to the last entry. Reading it was a shock for him.  
  
"Dear Diary, I had a perminission earlier. I'm going to die. I don't exactly know how or when it happens, but I know it will. I won't tell Piper and Paige just because I know nothing can stop the evil that's after me and I don't want them to get hurt. I thought about summoning Cole, just to see him one last time, but then I decided not to. I don't want him to worry, or worse, not to worry at all. I wonder if he still loves me? I still love him so much and I always will. I can't wait to see Mom, Gramps and esp. Prue again. I just hope that it won't hurt. I loved my life. Phoebe."  
  
By now Cole was crying so much it hurt. His heart hurt, his mind hurt, his soul hurt, everything hurt him. He closed the book and held it tight. God, why hadn't he been there for her? All he hoped was that it didn't hurt and that she was in a better place, feeling that he still loved her and knowing that he'd never stop. 


	7. Chapter7

Chapter7  
  
After Cole had finished reading and re- reading Phoebe's diary, Leo orbed into the mausoleum.  
  
"Cole, come quickly, we need you at the manor." with that he was gone again and Cole shimmered right after him, without thinking.  
  
Once he got there, he found Piper, Paige and Leo upstairs, talking to Prue. Prue noticed Cole first and for a second Cole thought Prue was gonna hug him, but realized that even if she wanted to, she couldn't. She was after all a ghost.  
  
"Cole, I'm so sorry." Prue was crying now.  
  
What's wrong, Prue, honey, please tell us." Piper looked worried, but Prue kept talking to Cole, ignoring her sister.  
  
"I should have listened to Cole's heart. We all knew something was wrong, but we all didn't listen."  
  
"Prue, what are you talking about? What about my heart, and what happened?" Now Cole was starting to get worried as well. What if something had happened to Phoebe, even so he couldn't imagine what. She was dead after all.  
  
I'll tell you, Cole, I'll tell you." Finally Prue calmed down and started. "When we found Phoebe's body, we couldn't believe it. We didn't know she was dead, nor did the Elders. Nobody knew. "They" took her body and burned it. I wondered why, but They must have had their reasons. I kept searching for Phoebe, for her soul, but I couldn't find anything. She isn't in heaven."  
  
Now everybody was shocked, esp. Cole. Slowly he remembered his dream, the one he had every night, where Phoebe would call him for help.  
  
Prue started talking again. "Cole has had the same dream ever since Phoebe died. I heard and saw the dream a couple of times, but I ignored it. I was to busy trying to figure out where Phoebe was. Today I went to see Them. They called for me. The body They burnt, wasn't Phoebe's body. Phoebe isn't dead."  
  
Nobody knew how to react to this. Piper cried and Paige just kept walking up and down, shacking her head. And Cole, he didn't know what to do. He just stood there, trying to remember the body he saw on the couch, the body that he thought belonged to Phoebe.  
  
"Where is she?" Leo finally asked and everybody looked back at Prue, waiting for an answer.  
  
"The Source has her."  
  
Now Cole was more than worried. Why would the Source want her for so long, and not kill her? "Why" he asked Prue.  
  
"Well, she took his favorite demon - you - and he never forgave her. And then she came down to the Underworld herself trying to save an innocent, a very important witch. And the Source found her and kept her, sending up the witches' body after he made it look like Phoebe, just so you guys wouldn't look for her. The Elders think that the Source is trying to get her to the dark side, but she still hasn't. I don't know what they are doing to her, but I can feel her pain."  
  
Nobody knew what to say or do. All they could think about was Phoebe, suffering for all these weeks, wondering why nobody came to help her. It was Leo who broke the silence.  
  
"Why didn't the Elders tell us?"  
  
"Well, they warned Phoebe. They sent somebody down telling Phoebe that she wasn't allowed to go to the Underworld to save the witch, but Phoebe didn't listen."  
  
Leo couldn't believe this. It was amazing what "They" sometimes did.  
  
"Okay, let's go and bring her back." Paige said.  
  
Prue wished them luck and left. Not without looking at Cole, forming "Sorry" with her lips. Cole just nodded, he understood.  
  
They agreed that Cole and Leo would go look for Phoebe, so that Piper and Paige would be safe. Of course they both wanted to come, but they knew that they couldn't. 


	8. Chapter8

Chapter8  
  
In the underworld  
  
  
  
"God, I haven't been down here in a while." Cole said to Leo, once they got to the underworld. Nothing changed much.  
  
"Can you sense Phoebe, Leo?" Cole asked, whishing he would be able to sense her, too. But Leo shook his head.  
  
"I guess the Source must have some kind of shield around her" Leo replied, so him and Cole fallowed their gut feeling.  
  
It didn't take them to long to find Phoebe, because Cole still knew his way around and had a pretty good idea where the Source would be hiding one of the Charmed Ones.  
  
"Oh my God, Phoebe" Cole yelled out, when he found her. He rushed towards the cage she was looked in. Leo already saw the keys and unlocked the door. Both men weren't to surprised to find Phoebe so easily, she looked horrible. She looked like she was half dead, with dried blood and dirt everywhere. Her face and body was bruised and cut and her hair was dirty and frizzy.  
  
"Phoebe, Phoebe, can you hear me, Leo and I are here to bring you home" Cole said over and over again, but there was no response from her. She looked unconscious, if she wasn't already dead.  
  
As soon as Leo unlocked the cage, Cole got Phoebe out and held her in his arms. "Oh God, Phoebe, what did they do to you?" Cole was shocked to find that his Phoebe was all bony and skinny; she not only looked fragile but felt it too.  
  
"Don't worry, my love, you are safe now. Nothing will ever happen to you again." Cole whispered in his ear and after eye contact with Leo, he shimmered them both back to the Halliwell Mansion, with Leo fallowing.  
  
Back home the girls were shocked to see their sister like that. First Leo healed her and then Paige and Piper took Phoebe upstairs and cleaned her up. During the whole time Phoebe still didn't response to anything, but Piper just kept talking anyways.  
  
"It's gonna be okay, Phoebe. Don't worry about a thing. A bath will do you good, I'll even wash your hair, like I used to do when we were younger. And then you can lie down in your own bed, in your room. Well, actually it's Cole's room now, but you don't mind, right?" Piper smiled and kept talking.  
  
Paige tried to be as helpful as Piper, but couldn't stop wondering what kind of abuse Phoebe must have suffered.  
  
Downstairs Leo and Cole were sitting in the kitchen, with the image of Phoebe all curled up in that cage, in front of them. They both couldn't get over the fact that Phoebe had suffered for so long.  
  
Tears finally came to Cole's eyes. All of this had been too much for him. To see his love like this, to feel her pain, to wonder what she had been through. He had let her down. She had called him in his dreams and he had ignored her.  
  
"Come on Cole, it's gonna be okay. You know that, don't you? Phoebe is strong, stronger then we give her credit for."  
  
"I know Leo, I know. It's just so hard to see her like this. I'm so worried about her. What if she never wakes up again? Then it is all my fought, because I failed to save her. Because of me the Source took her and because of me she suffered like this." Now Cole cried really hard and all Leo could do was try to make him feel better, but he knew that his trying was in vain. Only Phoebe could make Cole feel better.  
  
Once Phoebe was in bed, Cole went to see her. He took her hand in his and looked at her for a long time, before he started talking.  
  
"Remember the time I asked you to marry me and you said you weren't ready? I knew back then that even that couldn't tear up apart. Nothing could, but then things changed. I was stupid enough to let you go once, I promise you that it won't happen again. I love you, Phoebe Halliwell. And nothing will ever change that. One day you'll be my bride. I know it. Nothing will ever come between us." Slowly Cole lied down next to her and held her in his arms and Phoebe finally felt safe again.  
  
Chao 


	9. Chapter9, final chapter

Chapter 9  
  
Days went by and Phoebe's condition still didn't improve. She did open her eyes, but showed no response. Cole sat with her every day. Piper cooked all of Phoebe's favorite meals, but Phoebe wouldn't take one bite. Paige would sing her their favorite songs, but Phoebe wouldn't join her.  
  
It was Leo who got Phoebe talking. Cole had gone to take a shower and the girls were downstairs. Leo orbed into Phoebe's room and sat down on her bed.  
  
"Phoebe, talk to me. You are safe now, you know that, don't you?"  
  
"Leo?" Phoebe whispered and blinked, realizing for the first time that she was home.  
  
"Leo, what happened?" she asked weakly and Leo told her everything. How they thought that she was dead, how Cole had moved in and how Cole and himself went to the underworld and brought her back, once they fond out that she was still alive.  
  
Phoebe started to cry and then she told Leo how Demons would come and torture her and how scared she was. How dark lighters would come and kill their victims in front of her eyes and how she could do nothing against it.  
  
Cole, who had gotten out of the shower, listened to Phoebe. He couldn't face her. All this sounded too horrible and it was all because of him. He wondered if she would ever forgive him. And then something amazing happened. She asked Leo for him, she wanted to see him. Slowly he came into her room.  
  
"I'm right here, baby. I'm right here." he answered and looked at her. A light twinkled in her eyes for the first time in days.  
  
"Ah, Cole, you are naked." she replied and now smiled.  
  
Cole looked down and realized that Phoebe was right. Quickly he shimmered out, leaving Phoebe and Leo smiling at each other. Leo orbed out to see Paige and Piper and minutes later Cole shimmered back in. Dressed, this time, but still looking a little blushed.  
  
"Cole, please hold me. " Phoebe asked and Cole went to her and hugged her.  
  
"Cole, will you always hold me?"  
  
"I'll never let you go, Phoebe, I'll never let you go." And this time he didn't.  
  
The end  
  
  
  
I want to thank all of you for the wonderful feedback. It really kept me going and thanks to you guys, I enjoyed writing this story more then I thought I would. And thank you for not complaining about my "poor" English. It isn't always easy to express everything in a language other then German.  
  
I already started to work on a new P/C fic and will post it asap, if you guys think you can handle another one.  
  
Shimmer forever.  
  
Sonja 


End file.
